Breaking the Chains of Childhood Abandonment

Detailed description of the issue the client faced

( For the purpose of this study, I will call my client Sarah)

Sarah is a 34-year-old female who suffered from grief after the loss of her sister due to a severe illness. This loss provoked a lifelong struggle with family dynamics.

Although she is married & has a little daughter, Sarah’s relationship with her husband was not so stable , she always feels she is being left behind for somebody else & she does not like this feeling. 

As she was telling her story , (with eyes closed of course, so that her subconscious mind can give her the smallest, hidden details ) we discovered that the roots of her feelings go back to her own childhood days!! 

At the delicate age of five, Sarah was abandoned by her biological parents & separated from her sister and brother, to be brought up by her grandmother. This upbringing, while nurturing and stable, could not fill the void of parental absence. Sara often pondered the reasons for her parents’ departure and whether she remained in their thoughts.

Sarah’s bond with her younger sister was her most cherished connection, even though they were not under the same roof, but the fact that her parents had preferred her sister, left a wound inside her heart. 

As she grew up, she learned to love & care for her sister & repress all those bitter feelings of being left behind..

As Sarah flew over her timeline visiting old events from the past, she started remembering little incidents with big emotions! 

She remembered how her sister fell off from the first floor while they were both playing,  hit the ground & was in so much pain.. She remembered how her mom got angry with her & started accusing her of pushing her sister, the thing that left her in so much tears & worry about her sister..

These are some of the memories that really got their hold of Sarah and affected her till adulthood.. 

Symptoms, emotional or psychological state

Her symptoms were deep sadness, crying, emotional numbness with no reaction to the world outside,  not being able to attend to her daughter’s needs, and a cranky mood. 

With her husband, she showed jealousy over his connections with females, & rage from his actions and behaviors.

Why the client sought NLP for healing 

Her friend has told her about NLP and pushed her to try it to help her out of her situation.

She attended the NLP Talk session held by AlKhawarizmi institute & she related to a lot of the topics mentioned so she decided to get more awareness by doing sessions.

NLP perspective on the root cause of the issue

Sarah’s grief over her sister’s passing has reignited past traumas. She is burdened with guilt for unresolved issues with her parents and fears that reconciliation may now be out of reach.

Possible psychological, emotional, or behavioral patterns identified

Sarah was living an emotional turmoil triggered by the loss of her sister. She has developed over the years different kinds of fears, like fear of abandonment , because she was left behind. The fear of not being good enough due to her parents’ neglect, also led her to be independent trying to prove her worth to everyone .. The fear of loss made her control her husband whom she attracted unconsciously based on her childhood traumas or difficulties. So she was living a cycle of repeated patterns without even realizing it !

Different NLP techniques or other healing methods that were evaluated

NLP has more than 55 techniques that are considered as tools to help clients deal with their emotions or childhood traumas. 

In the case of Sarah, many techniques would prove effective. Starting from Anchoring, Framing, Reframing & definitely the ATH or advanced timeline healing. Moving to the more emotional & deeper techniques like Confrontation & Discharge techniques. Also other techniques were considered like the “I Need Love” technique ,  “the 3 I’m Not” technique & of course the New Behavior Generator.

The nice thing about the NewGeneration of NLP is that it offers a variety of tools to help us reach down to the deepest part of the subconscious mind & uncover all the hidden emotions!

Comparison of techniques (pros/cons)

All techniques are similar in the way the client closes eyes so  we can focus on the subconscious mind but each technique targets a certain aim for example the approach with Sarah was to let her release her suppressed feelings towards her family that is why I chose the Discharge technique & not the confrontation technique. 

The specific NLP technique(s) chosen (e.g., anchoring, reframing, timeline therapy)

For Sarah’s case I chose a group of techniques in order to help Sarah reveal the many layers of suppressed & repressed emotions, different techniques were used.

Here is a list of the techniques we worked on together with my client:

Breath-opening technique, Framing, Reframing, ATH, Discharge technique , Glitter technique, unZipping filters technique, New Behavior Generator technique.

Reasoning behind choosing this approach over others

Since each technique has an aim and targets certain feelings, I choose Breathopening to help her release emotions stuck in her body. During the ATH, I work with her on different techniques according to what each event in her life requires. The most important part is to allow my client to reveal the emotions ,understand them & then let them go when she realizes they don’t serve her anymore.

Detailed steps of the NLP process used in the healing

Different methods were applied to help her navigate through her grief, like Framing and Reframing, to connect it to the deep personal grief that she was holding.

Later I moved her on the timeline using the ATH technique to remove the negative emotions stuck in the past & come out with learnings of each experience or trauma . 

● Sarah was able to confront & face her abandonment issues through the Discharge technique , aiding her in removing deep-seated negative beliefs and cognitive distortions stemming from her childhood.

● The significance of familial ties enabled Sarah to examine her family’s patterns and foster healthier interactions and boundaries with her parents.

Sessions involved, techniques applied at each stage

Several sessions are needed to cover all the events on Sara’s timeline. I usually start with a Discovery session to know general information & build rapport. 

Through the next session, I explained to Sarah about emotions and how they affect us & how we can track them in our body & release them by applying the Breath-opening technique. 

In the second session I explained to Sarah about the timeline & how we can go back to past events and check the emotions & what is left unsaid & not dealt with. 

Through the following session, we start with the ATH which is the Advanced Timeline Healing where we tackle down the event with all its details to check the emotions involved & let go of the unneeded ones .Definitely the ATH involves several sessions depending on what each client passed through. 

Client participation and activities during sessions

Mindfulness practices, journaling, and artistic activities were also encouraged to be part of the therapeutic process to bolster Sarah’s coping mechanisms and overall well-being.

Short-term and long-term outcomes

Sarah has shown remarkable progress in managing her grief and familial relationships. Despite the enduring pain of her loss, she has cultivated self-compassion and a good understanding of her life’s complexities.

She has become keen at recognizing and countering the negative beliefs affecting her self-esteem and trust in others. Insights into her family’s dynamics have led to the establishment of healthier boundaries with her parents.

Emotional, mental, or physical improvements in the client

Sarah’s path to recovery continues, but she now feels more anchored, resilient, and optimistic about her future. The techniques of the NewGeneration of NLP has enabled Sarah to confront her complex issues and move towards healing and personal development.

Sarah was able to go back to her true nature & enjoy life with her daughter. She is aware now of things happening around her & she is focused to break the chain of suffering and help her daughter to overcome any obstacle standing in her way 

Client feedback on the healing journey

About her healing journey, Sarah expresses gratitude for being able to pass through all the changes. Though the road to healing was hard, and it included a lot of tears and ups & downs, she felt victorious that she had faced all her fears, understood her emotions & gained self-awareness on different aspects that were bothering her in her life.  She claims that she is calmer now & understands well when she is going to respond to events in her life. Her relationship with her husband has a clearer path now she gained self confidence, & she is communicating better with her colleagues at work.

Summary of the effectiveness of NLP for healing

NLP helps our clients  find clarity about the way the mind works & opens channels between conscious and subconscious mind through the tools we apply during sessions.

NLP offers understanding of old behaviors and patterns that don’t serve us anymore & through tools we help our clients create new responses thus leading to reprogramming our mind.

NLP prepares our clients to set a positive mindset & helps them shift their way of thinking towards happiness

Key takeaways and lessons learned

By understanding our emotions we gain self-awareness & we learn how to regulate our nervous system. The clarity we gain from  the sessions helps clients find their way in life & build resilience . The more you open up during sessions ,the more you will benefit 

Potential for NLP in future healing cases

NLP has a great potential in revealing your true self if we become dedicated to the inner work that has to be done. Through neuroplasticity, NLP allows us to build ourselves again no matter how broken we feel.